The Wall
by newaccountnow
Summary: One shot based on the Brittana scene from "Sexy". Santana's POV


I DON'T OWN THE CHARACTERS, OBVIOUSLY.

* * *

"Please say you love me back, please." she begged the blonde girl in front of her.

"Of course I love you, I do." Brittany replied, looking at her with those beautiful blue eyes.

After hearing that, Santana froze. Actually, everything did.  
It was like the world had stopped just

so she could enjoy that moment and remember what it was like to know that the only person

she'd ever loved in fact, loved her back.

She couldn't believe it worked. She knew she looked like shit because she'd spent most of the

night crying and the rest of it listening to that song they did on Glee club that same day. She

wasn't good with words unless they were insults and she was especially terrible when it came

down to feelings. She wouldn't do that anymore, though. She didn't feel angry, because her heart

for the first time ever felt complete.  
She remembered when her mom and dad got divorced, how she told her to never fall in love because she'd only get hurt in the end. She was a little girl when that happened, so she followed the advice. She'd built this wall to protect her heart because she didn't want to be like her mother, all bitter and cold.  
By using hurtful words and bringing people down that wall became stronger and thicker.  
But then, as the time went by she realised that because of that wall, she'd become a clone of her mom.  
Her parents had a joint custody over her so she had to stay with her sometimes in Lima Heights. It was horrible there. Well, her mom was horrible but at the end of the day, it helped the wall so she'd take all her crap. But then when her mom tried to kill herself, she realised following her steps wasn't such a good idea.  
So she started looking for someone to bring that wall down. And she slept with almost every guy in McKinley when she understood that the only one who could do that was her best friend.

She looked at Brittany, and as hard as it was for her she turned around to stare at the now frozen people in the hallway.  
They weren't staring at them, they were simply grabbing stuff from their lockers or going to their next classes. And she realised that everything would change.  
From now on, everyone would stare, judge and talk behind their back because of how they felt just like she told Britt only seconds ago. But she honestly didn't care anymore. She now knew what happiness felt like. With Britt by her side she would never worry about stupid ignorant people like them and she would only focus on being happy.  
Because she felt free. Like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders and the wall was down.  
It didn't hurt anymore.

She turned back to the blonde. She looked like a statue. She touched her cheek just to see if she could feel her, but she didn't move. She ran her fingers through her long silky hair and smiled.

As Santana let her hand fall she noticed everything coming back to life. People around her started walking and Brittany was talking again.

"And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie." she finished.

"Artie?" Santana snapped.

"I love him too. I don't wanna hurt him, that's not right. I can't break up with him." her voice was

so casual, like saying you love two people at the same time was the most normal thing in the world.

Her thoughts were so loud that she couldn't comprehend the words coming out of her own mouth. She could feel the tears running down her face.

"But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know... If Artie and I were to ever break up and I'm

lucky enough that you're still single." She felt Brittany's hand grab her wrist.

"Don't." Was all she could manage to say as she released her hand from the girl's grip.

"I am so yours. Proudly so." The blonde smiled.

Santana's mind was going crazy but she was sure she said something back to Brittany even though she didn't know what it was. It was so unfair.

She saw Brittany about to put her arms around her and she reacted by pushing her away.

"Get off me!" She heard that word come out of her mouth because everything was just so messed up.

She turned around and walked out of that hallway, crying harder than ever and wanting to disappear off the face of the Earth. She wasn't sure what was happening because she was walking really fast, and pushing people out of her way.  
A flash of pain run through her chest, and she knew what it was. The wall coming back up. Of course it would hurt.

A part of her wanted to slap Brittany for making her feel like that, but she knew she'd never be

able to forgive herself if she did it. The other part wanted to slap herself for being so stupid. For

throwing herself at her, without knowing how things would turn out in the end.

But once she got inside her car she stopped crying and felt like she used to, numb.  
If only she could go back in time and never say that to her. It only made her look vulnerable and for what? For nothing.

She looked at the rear-view mirror and smirked when she saw the reflection of her mother's eyes instead of hers.

That was better.  
At least she wouldn't feel the pain anymore.  
She turned the ignition on and drove off the parking lot.


End file.
